{ what goes around comes around ;

my last goodbye

2006-10-27T00:02:00.000+08:00

MOVED

i know i ll find that pot of gold(:

*edited. come talk to me if you want the url. i decided its gonna be very personal x)

im scared

2006-10-19T22:38:00.000+08:00

been wanting to post this for very long and today i couldn't resist the urge anymore.

i have a wish.
and tomorrow, i hope it'll come true.

hai im feelin emo again:(

your wings... they bleed.

2006-10-08T14:10:00.000+08:00

fuck yourself and go to hell.
im closin down this blog for good,
will be going somewhere else.
goodbye

sometimes i hate being here; because they made it so easy in the past.

2006-09-10T16:35:00.000+08:00

the pot in our favourite hangout
i love steamboats.
they remind me of sweet reunions/get-togethers of sorts

they are family(:
not hi-bye acquaintances. just people IN my life,
people who make me laugh so hard that i ll forget all the blues.
lovess :DDDD

the sleepover wasn t exactly super productive or anything...
but i didnt regret it one bit.
we talked about many things, till the wee hours.
i miss seeing them in school,
miss hearing their voices and miss all our sarcasm and laughters.
sighhs totally irreplaceable ... not even them can take the place of any bud in this gang
ughhhsss YOUS ARE MISSED:(

oohhh finally hit the books at 2.30am. hahahas a far cry from our initial 12am aim.
and i MUGGED TILL 6am!(:(:
lousy pok yf and yl slept like logs while the others were hardcore gaming -.-
boohooo i slept for only four to five hours =x
but still, ahhhs im so proud of myself((:

they made forever easy again. i believe(:
i want to go hong kong with you, you, you and you and and and ... youS!

hang in there dude...
i m always a phonecall away.

ANYWAY RANDOM-NESS

heee we cut our hairs!

yesss... we snapped it off 07sept06/thurs.
its short =.=

its a messy world out there

2006-09-08T23:46:00.000+08:00

its scary how people can be so complicated and messy
i was shocked yet again today =/

today was nice(:
mug ball currywork

its falling apart. the gap s widening.
i don t quite care anymore.
i carn seem to laugh with you from my heart.

for the first time, i told somebody about it.

randoms.
i wanna hug you vic!
ahhhss the friend who bears with the swings (:
i love you((:

at this rate of muggin, you can probably visit my funeral next week

2006-09-08T05:24:00.000+08:00

woahss 5am already, yet i havent slept a wink =.=
carn believe i took like five friggin hours to write my notes, sort all the crap, read some tutorials...
and the best part is im not done with chemistry YET.
way to go man... i deserve a good spanking,
for being so inefficient and SLOW -.-

wonder how i ll survive through ~~the next day~~ today with so little sleep:(
ughhhh i shall go lie on my bed now.
BYEBYE

the tall, the thin and the short.

2006-09-07T23:53:00.000+08:00

the tall, the thin and the short.
we mug, we shop, we slack and we indulge.
cheers to weird sizes(:

been drinkin caffine three days straight.
i think im addicted to coffeebean &starbucks;
they re like the ideal places to mug happily,
town is attractive too.
ooohhhh i hope sat comes quickly,
so we can date our books tgt again(:(:

heeee gotta go.
need to sort out all the questions for chem consultation tml...
ahhhh x_X

coffeebean MUG

2006-09-07T01:07:00.000+08:00

yawns*
im turning in.
please let me dream of beautiful things, people and aliens(:
each day, i pray for a miracle.

yeahs i posted four entries in one day,
of which, three were within 5 hours.
wow.
the day must have sucked real bad.

my loyalty still lies with youS

2006-09-06T23:06:00.000+08:00

why is it always that the people whom you wish so hard to keep by your side never stays
and those whom you didn t quite care in the past never leaves you behind.
they cared ,
but i failed to see.

i saw your name...
and i thought,
what happened?
i tried so hard,
and its tough doing this alone.
your day, its nearing.
im tired already,
this frustration inside... mounting way beyond me.

i realised how much those words had affected me since last week,
they re makin me think...
offering me a different perspective into the little things in life.
perhaps all this while, my happiness was merely a delusion;
because deep down, my loyalty still lies with youS.

:(

2006-09-06T21:54:00.000+08:00

ahhhhhh dear alamak, please dont be angry:(
:(:(:(:(:(:(:(
nonoooo i should put it this way, please scream in our faces when you're angry.
we know you're not ok so stop pretending you are!
blehsss silence kills

today we were v bad girls.
we made her wait for Vlong =x
somehow i remember us playing all that stupid games in school,
and i want to tell you SORRY
cos i ve been a very lousy friend these four years indeed.

it is because today that it struck me how terrible i am in keeping up with all my friendships.

(: im glad i tell it all

2006-09-06T00:44:00.000+08:00

everyday there s bound to be some smart alec at some corner of the globe saying this,
"ignorance is bliss..."
and boy, they really mean it.

no doubt there is more than meets the eye,
but still, curiosity killed the cat;
knowing more simply puts a fullstop to all that innocence.

OK... time to hit on my sexy chemistry.
/i<3myBOOKS. SHOOOOO!

like the way how your sweet nothings made me bleed
and i didn t dare believe anymore.
fate fell short, too bad.

don t dream while you sleep. LIVE YOUR DREAM

2006-09-02T22:08:00.000+08:00

i thought i'd seen worse,
but apparently i guess not.

oh... no... it isn t the end of the world
im just a little shocked, that s all.
ok, make that VERY.

ahhh but still, there s always two sides to a coin.
believe that there s more good than bad(:
since nobody s born perfect anyway.

i think aging makes me mild and emo .
carn seem to work that tinge of sarcasm as easily now.
i remember i was more bitchy and mean in the past
but now... i actually have to think for quite a while before i can spit some decent crap
ahhhh, im growing old:(

today was good.
yesterday was good too(:
two:D outings are always nice and cosy, whether there s loads of people or not.
somehow, we are this bunch of weirdos that landed in the same class .
heee curly hair said weirdos make life beautiful(:
i must have been a bliss to everyone then since im so screwed weird
i realised i ve grown a recent fetish for BAOS
i ate ONExiao long mao. and boy, i still in love with that memory(((:

ahhhss to-dos:
chem bonding
differntial eq
~~wr :(~~

maybe i should start reading my history notes on a daily basis.
now that its my h1 subject, it may well flunk me.
and THATS quite an alarming prospect.

anywayss,
i had another wild dream this week(:
heeee i love dreaming the wildest dreamsss in the universe and i like to imagine scenes that are totally out of this world;
scenes that are mismatches to our everyday mundane lives.
it makes me laugh.
hahas im not ashamed of it ok... it keeps me happy(:
won t it be nice to live in willy wonka land?
there s no goodlookin people in there,
but at least... your table s made of the world's best chocolate.
you can eat it when aliens take over our world (:

lovess. birthdays. SURPRISE!

2006-09-01T13:02:00.000+08:00

spell J-O-Y!
lovesss is in the air(:(:

yesterday was one of the best days of 2006
oh yeahhs , the canoeists took loads of pretty photos in our sec sch uniforms.
and they laughed at me for being toot -.-
TSK I LIKE BEING A NURSE OK... HAHAS I SAVE LIVES!(:
the team made v pretty cards for the teachers and we gave mry a healthy fruit cake(:
happy teacher's day!
THANK YOU FOR ALL YOUR SACRIFICES! *salutes
(i ll post the photos as soon as i collate them)

went back to alma mater after the teacher's day celebrations.
saw loads of familiar facess... home sweet home totally.
snap snap snap.. gonna remember the day as it is with all the BIGsmiles on our faces!
visited the teachers- l2m, vjay blah blah blahs
lols but they werent the MAIN point anyways =PpPp

AND WE WAITED FOR THE CAKE.
THE BEAUTIFUL AND DELICIOUS CAKE BAKED BY TALENTED BAKER CUM BESTFRIEND#1 ....
CHAN YANZHI!
woahhsss she took a cab lahs!
and arrived with BESTFRIEND#2 FAVOURITE CHOCOLATE CAKE!
hhaahs and THECOMPANY gathered at the canteen, awaiting that special moment(:
so i called THEFRIENDS and they led a unsuspecting BESTFRIEND#2 down to the canteen..
then.... SURPRISE!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU... HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU... HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO CHIEHYIN... HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU! (geez, i carn remember if we sang the chinese version =x but nvm)

hahaasss we captured her first reaction on the camera!
ahhhh her face was so red =p
lolsss so she cut the cake, we ate the cake and we took photosss again!(:(:
oh ohhh we presented her the gifts too(: the girls gave her a pretty necklace and YANZHI &ME ME ME! a collage!
i hope she was SURPRISED(:

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED :DDDD
with special thanks to THECOMPANY: s304:D, THEFRIENDS: 4b, BESTFRIEND#1:yanzhi(: , MYSELF: ehss at least i was supporting actress(: and finally BESTFRIEND#2:chieh yin FOR BEING THE BEST FEMALE LEAD OF THE YEAR!

thank you for being you in this 4 yearss
thank you for being there rain or shine, 24/7
thank you for listening all these years
thank you for for being THE ONE AND ONLY best friend:DDD

happy seventeen birthday. i hope you had fun yesterday(:
ahhh and im so sorry we are not hanging out today x_X

ok, so after this super celebration in sch,
rong, simna, yf, gab, nat, sw, yl and ME! lols went habourfront to eat, catch up and gossip. HEHEHEE
gahhss i think we spent like 3-4h there?
talking rubbish whiles time away. lols
then we went TOWN to WINDOWshop!(:
we <3 the escalators with mirrors(:(:
ahhh yf and me are DEPRIVED.
we don t own anythin from MANGO, TOPSHOP, FOREVER21, LEVI etc :( lols
then then we took neos at cine.
then then then we took a bus to MARINASQUARE! cos we were thinking of going esplandade to eat and TALK again.
BUT we decided to stay at the mall and have our dinner at the balcony of the KOPITIAM , which was overlookin esplanade(:
so we were somesort AT esplanade.
after dinner which stretched till like 9-10 plus, we went RAFFLES CITY STARBUCKS.
then we drank drank and DRANK till we stop drinking and went home .fullstop

you know what?
with your FAVOURITE COMPANY, ANYTHING even simple to-dos like lagging makes you HAPPY.
ooohhh im on cloud no.9 , baby!

im so thankful that all of them are in nj, REALLY(:
(ok, maybe some of them are not. BUT most of them are(:)

heee off to twoD outing later.
life is GOOD.

heal the heart

2006-08-23T22:49:00.000+08:00

ahhhh. i fed myself with pills for three days already!
why isn t that freaking flu going away?
why is my throat still so sore?
:(
its getting worse.
how am i gonna sing a song to yin next week?
blehsss she is gonna be SO SAD! :(

i promised you a song.
and i will make good my promise.
i will try my best to deliver the right notes(:

hahahahss im being random again

Sub 30 hour Round Singapore Canoeing Challenge

2006-08-23T22:18:00.000+08:00

Paddling for Diabetes
Sub 30 hour Round Singapore Canoeing Challenge

they broke the record.
with a record time of 29 hours and 37 minutes.
A 150 km.
with 35km on foot.

for them to be able to complete it was just magical.
and the packing up at kallang, let's just say that im glad we're training a macritche now. the heavy boats, the washing, the clearing up and the stairs, tough!
im thankful.

but overall ,the day was great!
the light refreshment and the people.

COURTESY OF BERNIE(:(:

20 august 2006
heee im too lazy to write a full entry about it.
in a nutshell, i really respect him for what he does.
he leads by example and he sticks by his principles(:
seriously, not many people have such courage these days.
AND AND AND.... PLEASE DONATE TO THE DIABETICS SOCIETY!(:
SPREAD THE LOVE!

and yesss... the company was really GREAT(:(:
cosy homely feeling!

im just tired... too drained to put up a front anymore. i want to snap, like an inelastic band.

2006-08-23T20:54:00.000+08:00

sorry.

i let my frustration reigned today.
each time the hurtful words left my lips,
i tried putting myself in your shoes...
i thought perhaps... they will spur you on instead... unleash all that fury and so we ll put all our anger into the water
but at the end of it all, i realised what an asshole i was.

to say that those words were to motivate and encourage was a lie.
i just couldn t stand the thought of being behind.
i didn t like people to wait for us...
and because of this fear, i wanted to go faster
i became agitated when we weren t going as fast we potentially could
and desperation set in.
my emotions got the better of me... and i just snapped.
in the end, i didn t stop myself from spatting all the mean things i said.

. why am i always forcing my ideals on the people around me?
why can t i stay cool and composed in face of pressure and fear?
what the hell am i doing?

freak, you re such a disappointment.

yes, we are pushing but can we be really sure we ve pushed hard enough?
why should we even set limits on ourselves?

you gave yourself too many excuses.

2006-08-20T09:35:00.000+08:00

im a mugger. im a mugger . im a mugger.
i love my books. they love me too(:

this weekend is killing me.
ahhhss there s loads to do :((

checklist:
econs essay
econs DRQ
chemistry tutorial
study for econs test
study for maths test

at least next week is worth looking forward to(:
cca best practises, skit, colours night.

yay. bye bye, i have a date with my books
dearest econs promised to cook breakfast -.-

slate

2006-08-18T22:04:00.000+08:00

the clouds turned purple, the seas a lovely grey.
its ok,
im alright.
gimme take some time to breathe again.

kurt halsey is love.
i wish he hold an exhibition here.

and i believed ... the way i did yesterday

2006-08-18T20:13:00.000+08:00

why does this have to start all over again?
it matters hell loads how you are feeling... what you are thinking.
except that you don t tell me much, neither can i put the words in my mouth.
its real tough trying to pretend that im perfectly alright with you not giving a damn about our lives.
so what if i care?
i can t enter where you are.
it gets tiring ~~and hurting~~ sometimes.

tell me why i have to plaster a smile on my face that day.
today i saw black .
a voice told me i could paint my tinge of red,
and i did.

yesterday

2006-08-16T22:22:00.000+08:00

laughing happily at zombie jokes today kinda made me miss yesterday yesterday yesterday..... yesterday

yesterday when i was standing at the insaints container classroom door being sarcastic to zombie
yesterday when i was laughing like theres no tomorrow with my girls
yesterday when i carn help but go IMAO at the unique laughters of my classmates
yesterday when we would all laugh so loudly like 4 crazy bitches
yesterday when i could watch s304 ball almost every cca day
yesterday when we can write our own scripts and act our own movie within one ball game
yesterday when we trained, smiled, laughed and teared
yesterday when i was chasing fat cat down the corridor of the old campus with my water bottle, playing our usual shooting game
yesterday when destiny would rot at jec everyday
yesterday when we would gather for every ipw lesson to talk about the pornest and weirdest things in life
yesterday when i was still wearing my nerdy spectacles.

in a flash, we grew up ... mature and decent at sight, wild and rebels at heart.
today i played stupid games again.
today i laughed so hard and so loud that i found my old self again.
today i was a loud-hailer and i really couldnt give a damn(:

i finally know why im still quite happy in nj,
because almost all my fav people are here.
and i know they will be here for me(:

we all have to leave our playgrounds someday...
leave the people we love and the familiar routines we do everyday.
but yes, we will still be connected up here... <3

i miss
chiehyinyanzhiyirongsimnaserenewinnijazreelvalerielipinghuipings304
yifengchenzhuoinsaintsliliyouweiyeowlinyuanjiedestinyjoanneqianzhirv&friendszombie

loved. love. loving.
for all these memories, i cherish.

and for the future, i embrace.
team. gang. life.

and yuppps i OWE my blog MANY MANY ENTRIES from LAST WEEK(:
heavy image content coming up soon.
oh ya i love li's CURLY HAIR. kudos to you brother .
take care . you are not a fool, really.

hahahas this is random.
I LOVE MY BEST FRIEND(:(:

and to dearest rong:
ahhh i wished i was at that bus stop too:(

It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us

2006-08-06T09:11:00.000+08:00

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It's not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

- the movie "coach carter"

i miss this movie loads.
it brings back memories(:

i dreamt i was happy

2006-08-06T09:01:00.000+08:00

arghhh this is bad
i woke up at 0800 when im supposed to get up at only 10 plus?
grrrr and i carn seem to go back to sleep again.
oh mans i need my 10hours to catch up all that i lost during the week
:(
what the toot*
helps.

colours. rainbows(: you guys paint them all.

2006-08-05T22:05:00.000+08:00

i don t why . . . but i m feeling very GAY today :DDD
note: gay: adj 2. full of or showing high-spirited merriment
i wanna scream to my world!

colours . rainbows . you guys paint them all(:
i m falling in <3 with my team more each day ^_^

watertrg /k1 . think we can push more... jiayous
recee /i have a nice group
flyer distribution /someone should just murder the idiot who designs the building. crap structure -.- LOL
causewaypoint lunch (:
its HAIRBAND day on MONDAY!
wear your pretty bands girls(:
hahasss we re so random . . . lalas i love.
p.s vic bought a blue hairband . goshh

ahhhh . . . mug hard canoeists,
we re gonna promote together as a team.
oh yeahs i m a full- fledged mugger.
i love my books .
they will NOT screw me,
because i willl screw them! yeahh baby

oh mans, i don t want to be retained :(

i ll never wanna let go

2006-08-02T22:13:00.000+08:00

YESTERDAY
nothing beats suan-ing &laughing with e gang(:(:
ermsss the people i love since my sec one days...
glads that we re all still in touch.
hahas its perfectly all right that im still nicknamed death... ooohhh whatever.
beware i write your name in my deathnote (:
heee i love li's hair. so CURLY ! HAHAHAS
we had dinner at hk cafe at cineleisure.
oh boy, the place is heaven.
the prices are pretty cheap for a restaurant and goshh, the serving is like OHMY
absolutely value for money and an ideal place for gatherings for old people =p
lols OLD MEN i mean.

TODAY
water trg .
its really a privilege to row together
cherish (:
im not sure where that courage during our second half of resistance came from
but many images flashed and disappeared in my head,
images of you, them and us.
i knew i didn t want to let go forever ...
lock . pull . twist . kick . breathe
there s too much at stake.

there s so much bottled inside.
so many conflicting emotions. so many doubts &fears. so many joys &happiness
i just want to pen this down...
so even after twenty years later, i will remember ...
all that i do and felt in this two short years(:

EOM. 1ST DRAFT

2006-07-31T01:17:00.000+08:00

while everyone's snoring away at 0113,
im here slogging away with my FIRST DRAFT EOM.
HAH i bet you're gloating away jus cos you handed it in LAST WEEK.
hmmph laugh all you want... i know i deserve it.
erms let me count...
i spent like 2-3 hours on this crap -.-
and yet im only 3quarter done, all thanks to my wonderfully POOR command of the english language.
boooooo i wished i was smarter

oh mans i think i just wasted my weekend sleeping at home =x

24/7 rain or shine, are you up to it?

2006-07-28T23:19:00.000+08:00

i miss seeing all the familiar faces everyday
i miss talking all sorts of nonsense which no one else but them understand
they don t look at you and brood over the ugly side of you
they accept your flaws and bring out the best in you.
silence is golden; you don t need to speak to have a conversation,
deep in our hearts we re having one already,
because its all about understanding from our hearts,
seeing beyond what others can see
and feeling that simple emo connection between us.

24/7 rain or shine. i know you ll be there:DD

(:(: hee i have a sukiSUSHI date next weekend.
lalalala sushi is addictive. highly costly so SAVE before you splurge hahas

theres water trg tommorow(:
heeee kinda excitedd... haven been going down macr since tue =x
20km milage. woahsss. its gonna be real challenging
bring it on baby!

we lost sight of what is of utmost importance.
everyday, we see... but not with our hearts.
the word so highly regarded is reduced to merely fun and more fun.
do we truly understand the fears that gripped their hearts ,
the troubles that daunted their every night and day,
the joy that brought smiles to their weary faces?
then again, "believe"... is it merely lip service?
24/7, are you up to it?

i am guilty as charged.
sorry
i ll change... promise.

recce @toa payoh. WHEEE!

2006-07-26T23:38:00.000+08:00

hahas corrine &i both have an extremely bad sense of direction
got lost many times during recce =x
but still, recce rockss with all the people you love(:

chiong to jp after that for our dearest ser's birthday surprise.
hahahasss we had fun, LOADS of it.
im really glad for her(:
he's treating her well ... hahass stay happy kay(:(:
and once again, happy seventeen!

blahhhsss im uber broke.
my debts are piling high =x
gahhhss SAD =x

erms fitness test tml. i hope i'll do well(:

myLOVEforSUKI-SUSHI

2006-07-25T23:44:00.000+08:00

*burps
im bloated.
had suki sushi for dinner(: hahas
it was nice and fun and comfy,
with happy company:DDD

yesterday was a nice day.
laughed loads (:
winni has a gu niang voice. HAHAAHA
study session was interesting.
was pretty random and i had an idea of writing out a wishlist(:
so when i achieve my goal or got something i really want,
i'll strike it off... bit by bit, the list will be gone*

i like this week.
i can actually squeeze out some time for my favourite people
lalala. im all smiles(:(:

life is change.
so what if we may drift...
or even forget those days...
be glad that it once happened

random

2006-07-23T19:12:00.000+08:00

oh... my right eye contact flew away during trg at macr.
im burnt with specs on today.
now i got funny tanlines :(

i've so much work to catch up =x grrrrr
its the time. leave no regrets
m o r e.

random survey. erms im jus bored
I miss somebody right now.
I don't watch TV these days.
I wear glasses or contact lenses.
I love to play video games.
I've tried Marijuana.
I have been in a threesome.
I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship.
I believe honesty is usually the best policy.
I curse sometimes.
I have changed a lot mentally over the last year. (yeahsss...)
I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me.
I'm TOTALLY smart. (if only)
I've broken someone's bones.
I'm paranoid sometimes. (correction: make that totally)
I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
I need money right now.
I LOVE sushi.
I talk really, really fast.
I have long hair.
I have lost money in Las Vegas.
I have at least one sibling.
I have worn fake hair/fingernails/eyelashes in the past.
I can't survive without Caller ID.
I like the way I look.
I am usually pessimistic.
I have a lot of mood swings.
I have a hidden talent. (like what? rawr? -.-)
I'm always hyper no matter how much sugar I have.
I have a lot of friends. (But few are of high-grade quality. But these few are the GREATEST :D)
I am currently single.
I have pecked someone of the same sex.
I enjoy talking on the phone.
I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants.
I love to shop.
I enjoy window shopping.
I would rather shop than eat.
I don't hate anyone.
I'm a pretty good dancer.
I'm completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother.
I have a cell phone.
I believe in God.
I watch MTV on a daily basis.
I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months.
I've rejected someone before.
I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.
I want to have children in the future.
I have changed a diaper before.
I've called the cops on a friend before.
I'm not allergic to anything. (Or at least I haven't found anything I'm allergic to.)
I have a lot to learn.
I have been with someone at least 10 years older or younger.
I am shy around the opposite sex.
I have tried alcohol before.
I have made a move on a friend's significant other or crush in the past.
I own the "South Park" movie.
I would die for my best friends.
I think that Pizza Hut has the best pizza.
I have used my sexuality to advance my career.
I love Michael Jackson, scandals and all.
Halloween is awesome because you get free candy.
I watch Spongebob Squarepants and I like it.
I am happy at this moment.
I'm obsessed with guys.
I study for tests most of the time.
I tie my shoelaces differently from anyone I've ever met.
I am comfortable with who I am right now.
I have more than just my ears pierced.
I walk barefoot wherever I can.
I have jumped off a bridge.
I love sea turtles.
I spend ridiculous money on makeup.
I plan on achieving a major goal/dream.
I'm proficient in a musical instrument.
I worked at McDonald's restaurant.
I hate office jobs.
I love sci-fi movies.
I think water rules. (i <3 my sport)
I went college out of state.
I like sausages.
I love kisses.
I fall for the worst people.
I adore bright colours.
I can't live without black eyeliner.
I don't know why the hell I just did this stupid thing.
I usually like covers better than originals.
I can pick up things with my toes.
I can't whistle.
I can move my tongue in waves, much like a snakes slither.
I have ridden/owned a horse.
I still have every journal I've ever written in.
I can't stick to a diet.
I talk in my sleep.
I try to forget things by drowning them out with loads of distractions. (but apparently, it always backfires on me)
Climbing trees is a brilliant pastime. (i dont mind, really)
I have jazz in my blood.
I wear a toe ring.
I have a tattoo.
I can't stand at LEAST one person that I work with.
I am a caffeine junkie.
I cosplay or know what cosplaying is.
I have been to over 15 conventions.
I will collect anything, and the more nonsensical the better.
I'm an artist.
I only clean my room when necessary.
I like a person of the same sex.
I love being happy.
I am an adrenaline junkie. (im becoming one though)

my eyes are drooping already.
byebye

row with fear and you lose the race before it even started

2006-07-22T23:23:00.000+08:00

B R E A THE

national canoeing championships

2006-07-22T23:01:00.000+08:00

being calm makes loads of differences.
but still,
i lack strength.

more... give more.

six
my favourite no.
the day of my birthday
ten days before the band was formed
ten days before a promise was made
my lane for two semis (nats school and ncc) this year
the boat with the slowest timing.
i don't want it again.

quality doesn't come easy, i'll have to work for it.

2006-07-20T21:29:00.000+08:00

im hooked on vegetarian food(:
it makes me smile in all this madness.

we reap what we sow.
quality doesn't come easy,
i'll have to work for it.
trainings this week further confirmed my fears.
keep pushing,
its never too late

"only with the proper strokes, proper kicking can you attain the proper balence."
i need to get my techniques right...
but while doing so, i'll have to make sure i whack real hard .
otherwise, im in no position to talk about strokes.

you dont deserve a break, at all.

2006-07-18T23:35:00.000+08:00

i hate politics,
since young... since forever.
im here to lend a listening ear always but i loathe the crap im listening to
how did i land myself into this shit?
im sorry.

deep down, its killing me
sometimes i really wished they divorce so it wouldnt hurt that much

the scar is here to stay.
live with the pain,
live with the memories.
its not your game... it was never once before.
desperation without heart will get you nowhere
dont ask why anymore...
you dont deserve a break, at all.

TEAM . njcanoeing 2006

2006-07-14T21:53:00.000+08:00

courtesy of dee

this is our TEAMY

njcanoeing 2006
heart &soul. go the distance.

thank you seniors,
for all that you have done and taught.
the values, the passion, the quality and the loyalty
(:

There's much too much at stake

2006-07-11T21:50:00.000+08:00

it isn't just us on this boat,
there's a whole lot of sixty people here.
our team is together with us, right here <3

Brian McKnight- Win
Dark is the night, I can weather the storm.
Never say die, I've been down this road before.
I'll never quit, I'll never lay down.
See, I've promised myself that I'd never let me down, so,

I'll never give up, never give in.
Never let a ray of doubt slip in.
And if I fall, I'll never faint,
I'll just get up and try again.
Never lose hope, never lose faith,
There's much too much at stake,
Upon myself I must depend.
I'm not looking for plays to show, I'm gonna win.

No stopping now, there's still a ways to go.
Ohh, someway, somehow.
Whatever it takes, I know,
I'll never quit, no, no.
I'll never go down.
I'll make sure they remember my name.
A hundred years from now.

I'll never give up, never give in.
Never let a ray of doubt slip in.
And if I fall, I'll never faint,
I'll just get up and try again.
Never lose hope, never lose faith,
There's much too much at stake,
Upon myself I must depend.
I'm not looking for plays to show, I'm gonna win.

When it's all said and done,
My once in a lifetime won back again.
Now is the time, to take a stand.
Here is my chance, that's why,

I'll never give up, never give in.
Never let a ray of doubt slip in.
And if I fall, I'll never faint,
I'll just get up and try again.
Never lose hope, never lose faith,
There's much too much at stake,
Upon myself I must depend.
I'm not looking for plays to show, I'm gonna win.

I'm gonna win.

heart&soul. go the distance.
tomorrow, we will&must row the race of our lives.

for that one chance, we will give our all

2006-07-09T18:33:00.000+08:00

to hell with pain,
bring it on.

three more days to nats.
myong said yesterday: if you're afraid and worried, DONT ever go down to race.
ermms i need meditation.

one heart . one soul . one boat
i want to give my best,
for that one chance.
push. endure. fight
for you me us them

i found renewed longing and want today.
yes, this is it.
i can feel the desire building up again(:
thankyou

its funny how some people can be so darn right about certain things.
someone hit a raw nerve yesterday.
although i laughed it off, i couldn't much lie to myself that the someone's words triggered some unwanted memories and affirmed my insecurity.
i tried very hard to not let my fears surface and to convince myself that its ok and i will stand strong ultimately.
but self- denial isnt exactly the most comforting thing to do.
now and then, i'll think about it and then run away from reality again.
its a vicious cycle that im trapped in,
and i don't like it one bit.

i spent two hours reading in the library yesterday evening.
i've been doing many things alone lately.
used to be negative and disgusted at this idea but i seemed to love it nowadays.
perhaps, im finally growing up
or maybe i've gotten too used to it already.

i like to be by myself

the memories are here to stay.

2006-07-04T22:04:00.000+08:00

THIS IS EXPIRED.
04july06
met up with my fav people today(:
dear bestie and my precious s304
heee the day went like that:
morning trg . WALKING AIMLESSLY AT TOWN WHILE WAITIN FOR BESTIE . taking cine's elevator for like 3-4 times . SHE's HERE!(:(: . galilee&friends . busrides ZZZZ . JEC! 304 :DDD . :'( i had to leave for macr . watertrg . dinner

i think yanzhi has migrated.
she's not answering any of our calls
and her family never seem to be home.
ermmmmsss i miss her, DEARLY.
she's always giving valuable advice and offers almost the perfect solutions to my problems.
and she makes me laugh.
im prayin that its jus one of her another MIA...
i know she'll be fine...
she always is(:

the memories are here to stay.

thank you

2006-07-03T20:37:00.000+08:00

everytime when you're down and you feel that you carn carry on anymore,
theres always this group of people who never give up on you and are always there to break your fall(:
these people are my pillars of support(:(:
they're the ones who give me the strength to hold on and keep the faith
thankyou

i see them everyday,
and they never fail to lift up my spirits (:
we'll be spending almost our entire two years in njc tgt...
despite all our differences and what sort unhappiness,
i know it'll rock(:
heart and soul <3

today's outing was a blast:D
laughters from the heart.
i smiled(:

sdbf 2006

2006-07-02T21:37:00.000+08:00

the girls did a great job today(:
well done(:
we've to work v v v hard to keep it next year...
all the way.

ermss im sleepy.
bye bye

edit: theres an outing tml.
finally... something to look forward to :D

yet i loathed.

2006-07-01T22:31:00.000+08:00

it hurts so badly
damn. i feel so weak
i hate the way i am recently.
where did all that drive and desire go to?
get a grip, girl... you haven much time left.

different realities.
our paths crossed,
yet i loathed.
sorry

my mind whirls.the scenes of yesterday unreeled in a movie without sound. i struggled, i tried, to unsnarl from this sticky mess, to break my fall amidst this madness. i grappled with the memories. the pain of forgetting all, do you understand?
...
flung across far and beyond, i sank deeper into nothingness. yet i still remember. dont feed me with all your fairytale poison. whoever said time heals all wounds lied. i believed that shit but look at where im heading now...

all i wanted was to tear away from those screaming emotions. the end of nothing . the fullstop to an empty page. where was the chapter? it was never written...

after so long, im still brooding over it. this fucking has to stop. why is it so friggin difficult to even erase one bit of what ~~we shared~~? i hate you to the core, really
for making me once believe that we'll work out, then taking away everything, almost every part of me. for making me feel like a fool at the end of it
fuck, why was i so stupid.

bursts in a k1 (: EXCITING

2006-06-29T23:37:00.000+08:00

ahhhh... the fatigue of it all.
torturing yet satisfying(:

i kind of love k1 now(:

ermmms but i still miss us/

goodbye.

this is tall, dark & handsome fate

2006-06-29T00:22:00.000+08:00

winni loves dark people
i adore tall, dark AND handsome people
he sat infront of him today
winni sat infront of me too (:
they hang out together
we are lesbians.
they and us make two great pairs
lets get married (:(:

hahas we had dinner at ding tai feng/paragon today
xiao long bao rocks(:
talked for like damn damn long in that place
and roamed town aimlessly before heading to galilee&friends
wei concluded that we needed a chauffeur to bring us home as we wish.
gahhhhs 18 years AND above! =S

ohhhh yes, i survived my first official exams in NJC! wheeee!
i wouldnt dare comment on how i fare cos' everything was just horrible.
nonetheless, im still damn friggin glad that i didnt hand in a blank script for history(:
h2 history can be real fun and thrilling... hahs
i SO wanna kiss aung sang's arse, like totally. *rolls my eyes

anyways theres trg tml!
yippeeeee! finally...

theres this DHL hot air balloon which you can ride at bugis.
you can actually view singapore from a height of 150m.. hahas seems fun
tickets are sold at 23 bucks (adult)
10 mins per ride.

i just felt like advertising for it.
it seems interesting,
and i never rode on a hot air balloon before.

examinations make me laugh, like totally.

2006-06-26T18:39:00.000+08:00

i fired my first shot at the examination monsters today.
hit? NOT.
i had a good laugh at myself after the gp paper.
fancy taking a shot at a question which you obviously have no clues about; what the heck is bane& boon? talk about my superb poor english =S
heee... i need gp remedial.

2nd hit? NOT.
as usual, i couldnt finish writin my econs essay.

hahs can someone tell me why im so calm about everything?
examinations make me laugh, like totally.
the excitement and thrill of it all... and knowing you screwed all up at the end of the day.
im such a loser. LOL
im a joke.

goodbye. i need to bath so i'll smell nice for my mugging session (:
i seriously do not wanna screw chemistry.

i love my best friend

2006-06-24T23:30:00.000+08:00

last call: 2:29:01
thanks for being there for me(:
i miss the old times loads.
hang out soon pig =p!

k2 pairings changed, yet again

2006-06-23T22:53:00.000+08:00

twentyfour hours.
changes were made... so quickly and abrupt.
i wasnt sure how we felt exactly...
overwhelmed by too many feelings... yet we were optimistic,
hanging on the slightest hope that it may not be a permanent change.
it felt really different rowing with another person suddenly,
not because she was lousy (in reality i was NOT good enough for her, like TOTALLY. to row with her was a privillage),
but cos' i really miss the way we feel each other's presence and row as one.
the stark contrast in feel shocked me.
ahhhhh i dont know how to put it in words but the feeling when we were rowing tgt was just special... the kind which i know nobody can replace either of us.

we had numerous time trials today; four sprint sets in the morning and three in the evening.
k2 250m k2 500m k2 250m k2 500m t1 1000m k1 1000m k2 1000m
each sprint made me feel more lousy and useless...
... more fearful of what is to come later.
the last time i remember feeling so so so nervous and stressed was nationals women's kayaking.
but today the pressure seemed to increase loads more than my previous exp... we had to fight to prove our faith, our beliefs and our partnership.
we had only one shot,
the last race set of the day.

we knew this was critical.
desperation set in shortly after 250m.
we wanted it real bad.
but the other boats were pulling apart way too quickly from us.
each power ten called sucked up that last ounce of strength in us.
how many last ounces we had... i didnt know.. but it took a great deal to force ourselves to keep givin more each time.
the process was painful, but reaching the destination was worse.
i knew we really did our best... but somewhat the ache in my heart did not ease one bit.
the bitter reality check.
our all wasnt good enough...
we were NO where near any of them.
perhaps we should have seen this coming, but deep down, we wanted so bad to labour under the ~~delusion~~ that success was at hand.
no, it wasnt a delusion. it was OUR belief, our faith that we can achieve anythin as long we had the heart and the guts; dream big and conquer with hard work.

yes, reality bites. but still, the change was neccessary, for the greater good of the team.
he's right, ~~always~~ spot-on on many matters (most of the time). his advice really counts.
i know this sounds dumb, but i actually had the impulse to tell him that please put his faith in us for the last time. gahhhhsss the blunt truth is we are simply not up to it. it would have been a leap of faith should he allow us to pursue our dreams further.
you probably be thinking that i shouldnt dwell on this as though its the end of the world,
especially so when most of the seniors are going through much rough-er patches now.
true enough, i shouldnt... but this is me.
i think LOADS... about the past, now and also the future.
in fact, even little things people do can have such great impact on me that i'll start thinking back of the things which other people did) and sometimes the future, so i can see/imagine what i want to do and what i want people to do.
ok, so im weird... but thats not the point, really.

move on, thats what everybody been tellin me since the time i could remember stuff and talk gibberish.
yeah i will... and no i will not wipe all those memories off and make a clean break with it in order to get on with life.
the memory of us doing our 150m sprints still lingers fresh in my mind though.
even the times when i watched your back and tried to imitate as closely as possible your strokes(blade angle etc) and cycle, reminded myself to be a mirror image of you, shouted ten power, encouraged each other remain at the back of my head. we were very alike in some ways. we used our arms way too much, hunched our backs most of the time, never quite twist when we were rowing, thinking we did when in fact we were turning our shoulders, had the tendancy to bend our right wrists when we punched etc. i have never thought it'll hurt that bad.... erms... maybe i should really stop this before i start weeping again.
anyways, i'll bring our faith with me wherever i go(:(:
and pull hard for you, sj, the team and everyone who believe in us.

faith is a very strong word in my dictionary.
it represents the concrete trust people had in each other and the strength to believe again.
faith was lost and found again many times in my sixteen plus years.
and yesterday night, when i was going home, the thought of np and rod just crossed my mind so randomly.
people tried but failed... then they tried again and failed again... and this cycle continued for a very long time.
they fell so many times in their pursuit for the slightest approval.
few succeeded and many suffered all sorts of shit and crap.
then one day, they became weary and stopped trying anymore.
people started losing faith in one another and some relationships were strained beyond salavge.
some said they didnt care but all was said behind a facade,
while others just couldnt give a damn after all.
but the words hurt so much that people couldnt tell apart black and white anymore.
thank god the storm cleared and they finally could see who the angels are... or did they not?

no one can beat this faith

2006-06-22T21:56:00.000+08:00

i realised how much i miss trg today;
the feel of adrenaline rushing through your body...
the way we draw strength from each other and pull even harder for our faith and beliefs...
the desire to pull apart from the rest of the boats...
the breathless-ness during each set, where all you want to see are the finishing buoys...
the triumph of knowing that you have give your all and conquered the previous set.

we found our glide
and relieved those moments again.

remember this feeling...
feel it the next trg, the trg after... forever

we can give more... i know we can
pain is never enough.
row with your heart, not your body.

all it takes is the guts and the courage,
we will row harder.

wonderfulthingsawaitus.thanksforkeepingthefaith.illneverletgoofthisfaith

teeeheeee! happiness :D

2006-06-16T21:41:00.000+08:00

bliss(:
10 june 06 - his "graduation"
im so proud of him(:

watched she's da man! yest(:
teehee! awesome movie with the perfect company.
loads of funny parts and totally sweet scenes that make you go AWWWWWWWWW... (:
hahas dearest sijing was like grabbing my arm so tightly everytime she sees lovey dovey couples. LOLS I SWEAR I COULD FEEL HER POWER! heeee =PpPp

and yupppsss happy belated 17th sze!(:(:
hope you like the present we got you. hahasss

jus came back home from dinner at adam's rd with the girls(:
hahas i love all our lunches and dinners tgt.
so full of rubbish and fun.
and they always make my day(:(:

tml's nats db comp.
gahhhhss kinda scary =x
all the way ! (:

believe in us

2006-06-14T21:36:00.000+08:00

i woke up feeling dizzy and spooked.
had a nightmare during my short 2h nap
i dreamt of a friend being run down by a mrt train after falling into the tracks
i was very scared and didnt even dare to take a last glimpse of her body.
what followed after was extremely disturbing and hurting for me, my other friends and i quickly boarded the train without staying on to call the police/ambulance.
everything felt unreal but at the same time, it gave me the shivers and creeps,
as though it signifies a bad omen, spelling doom ahead.
ughhhhhsss its really daunting =x

today trg (canoeing & db) was draining.
glad that all of us pulled through, hahas especially for corrine and me(:
nats db comp is 3 days away.... gahhhs kinda nervous.
yupppss lets do this tgt girls(:

hahahas wrote this uber long msg for my dearest partner(:(:
dont think i'll put it here cos its really personal.. teeheeee =p

i<3her(:
was damn glad and happy when you screamed NO! with such great determination today.
could truly feel you... hang on there always kayys(:
and yes, we will leave every trg with no regrets(:

yupps for everyone out there...
embrace the pain,
embrace the fatigue.
don't fear them but take them in your stride.
never let your body rule your mind.
people always say 'never give up without a fight'...
but believe in you and the people ard you and not even give up once..
keep fighting ... forever(:
the human heart has no limits(:

reality may be harsh , words may be cutting and force you to fall hard from grace.
but they will never put us down, not mentally...
cos we will never allow them to.
pick yourself up fast and tgt, we can create a miracle(:

that was pretty random. 've been thinking bout many things yest and today.
and yuppps, jus some random thoughts of mine i guess(:
hope they can spur some of the souls that have lost their faith and confidence out there(:

shopping spree! (:

2006-06-11T23:51:00.000+08:00

jasmine's food checklist
breakfast	egg mcmurfin meal	$4
lunch	sakae sushi	$17
snack	corn beef sandwich crossiant	$4 $1
dinner	home meal (:	$0

total damage: $26 x_X

gahhhsss carn believe i spent so much on food in one day =x
that explains my not-so-recent development of flabby arms, thighs, tummy... blahhhsss
've been eating way TOO MUCH, much more than what i can actually burn off during trgs.
im becomin both vertically AND horizontally challenged
and thats kinda scary =/

dang! time to go on a diet!

hanged out with jo today(:(:
walked ard lots , going from malls to more malls.
yupppss shopping spree! :D
i bought myself a shirt! lalalalalas!
its brown and its pretty.
best of all, its cheap(:
guess most of the shops slashed their prices somewhat for the great singapore sale.
hahas felt really dizzy after lookin at so many pretty clothing for so long.
BUT! no pain no gain (: teeheee!
im a very happy girl:DDDD

post camp madness

2006-06-09T23:29:00.000+08:00

(:

-edit: SHOUTS! <3teammates totally:DD
dinner was fantastic(: talkin cock rocks. laffed real hard till my abs hurt. i love this company LOADS
erms too tired to blog bout the camp and everythin .
many ups and downs here and there.
tomorrows people! adios(:

RESERVED!
070606- 090606
june camp(:

hang on there

2006-06-03T23:57:00.000+08:00

due to popular demand, im back!(:
arent you glad people!

hahs yupps haven blogged for ages. last post was on may 13 and that was like half a month ago =S
ermmmsss theres loads i would like to share but gahhhhhss as usual im lazy again.
okayys nvm lets start with today(:

was feelin VERY cranky and moody after trg.
jus didnt feel like talking much. its like one of those swings i had in sec2;
could get irritated and extrememly annoyed at the slighest thing.
was rather anti-social i guesss... jus wasnt my usual self *bites

gahhhhhhhsss you guys are right... i think too much =/
maybe cos' im really afraid of what the future holds
afraid that we carn meet a certain standard in due time
afraid that we will not be able to resolve problems and pull through together as one when they surface
afraid that our unity cannot withstand the test of pressure and time when differences arise

im afraid of many things.
constantly haunted by self doubt and sadly... to some extent, a lack of confidence in my own teammates... and yes im very ashamed of myself for feelin this way.
i know i ought to shut out such negative thoughts but im really worried :(
everybody's trg hard and all but our progress as a whole isnt exactly fantastic.
time is clearly not on our side now and thats v scary.
sometimes i look at myself and the rate im improvin, gahhhhssss i feel like crap already=/
ahhhhhhh. no... i will not lose faith. HANG ON THERE!

and to the junior team (lols dun think you guys will see this): im sorry you guys have to bear with my crap/shitty self this evening :( im sorry for not havin enough trust in you guys and havin those shitty thoughts earlier on this evening. but i still believe in us(: we will press on in face of diversity. i know that deep inside, there's still loads of heart which you guys can give... so c'mon we can do this together. believe in yourself and also the people who put their faith in you. throw away all that unfaithfulness. bring out all that heart and desire in you and be the best you can ever be(: the greatest enemy is always yourself... beat yourself and conquer the waters. we're always behind you... so stay strong(:

no matter what crap goes on in my mind, how negative i can be about things and how much sometimes i can hate the world suddenly,
i jus wanna scream:
I LOVE THIS TEAM<3
i want to improve tgt with you people!

ahhhhhhs! theres so much i want to say to you guys... bahhhsss never mind, i shall save it for tues(:

anywaysss we've been hittin town recently after trgs(: hahahahahas so fun. and lunches/study sessions/TRGS with you guys rock totally! laughed till my abs hurt real bad (during lunches). LOLS:DDDD hahahas movie was like WHEEEEEE! benchwarmers rock my arse. it was hilarous. heeeee i bet we were the loudest in the cinemas. ROARRRS! WE ROCK

erms trgs were rather okayy recently(: thank god
hahahas i love rowing k2 with corrine!
yuppppssss we're gonna trg and pull real hard kayys.
mus aspire to be explosive powerhouses!(:
we're lacking explosiveness and our starts are damn lag.
guess we are kinda slow generally =x
yupps gonna work on it... and also OUR STRENGTH =x
oh ya... im a lousy back rower. was tilting super left and corrine had to balence the boat for me/ tilt right x_X this is bad.
gahhhhss im really sorry . i promise i'll kick that bad habit... ahhhh gimme a bit time kayys.
all the way partner! lets make our boat fly!(:

k1 this week was good too(:
didnt had much a balence problem.
actually i shouldnt even be thinkin bout my balence already. gahhhhss should focus on how i can put in more power and how to catch the water properly (:
yupps i can do this! (: stay strong and focused.
but stilll rahhhhhhss, im takin an awfully long time to master k1 =x
ermmmmss must buck up!

i must not fear.
fear is the mind killer.
fear is the little death that brings total obliteration.
i will face my fear and when that is gone past,
i will turn the inner eye to see its path.
when the fear is gone,
there will be nothing.
only I will remain.

may26 2006. never let it get into you anymore.

focus is the key.

2006-05-13T22:00:00.000+08:00

dearest dee left us a msg(:(:
here goes:
FOR MY DEAR J1 GIRLS TEAM:

dearest girls,
i know tomorrow's gonna be the first time most of you are racing
and the butterflies and the jittery feelings are bound to be there
remember: there's a first to everything
dont fear
because fear is self-created and very very destructive!
instead,have faith in yourself & your partner
all those trainings
they boil down to the few minutes tomorrow
(: its gonna be really exciting
your FIRST race! (:
make it rock.
its within your control
stay focused
just whack
remember when you're tired, your partner is tired too
you pull for her
you pull for njcanoeing
you're stronger than you think you are
we can never find our true limits.
i really wish i could race
that gushing adrenaline rush
the fast pumping heart
i miss it really much
but its okay, i shall keep them for nationals!
where i can row with you all (:
as a team!
treasure this race okay?
row your hearts out
pain is temporary but the scar of regret is permanent.
you'll never want to regret
right?
(:
yup just wanna say i'll be behind you girls
always & forever
all the best girls
sleep early!
i love you all
xoxo
deniece

thanks hot(: love you. get well soon yeahh... we're looking forward to your big bang(:
yuppss... tomorrow's the day =x
focus is the key. beat yourself, give your 107% and leave no regrets.
we can do this together girls(:

heart &soul. go the distance
i know faith will take us far.

p.s i have the bestest mommy(:(:

jitterss and butterflies . b r e a the !

2006-05-12T23:24:00.000+08:00

note:
rahhhs you make me wanna roar!
where's my spanish?!
grrrrrr -.-
okayy for once, i shall be nice. good luck tml (:
kick ball. kick hard.

living space's been rather cramped lately.
my grandmother has officially moved in with us last weekend.
in case you're wondering, yuppps... its a permanent stay.
gahhsss still quite okayys with the idea but... ermss kinda have to change the way im livin in the house.
've been like switching rooms to sleep in for days =/

went marinasq with yf&yl yesterday to shop for sw present.
(: it feels good to be there again. hahas i just love the place.
'm always reminded of my uber funny kenny rodgers dinner there lols
yupps we had our dinner at imperial treasure la mian xiao long bao x)
luckily we were all broke or we'll probably end up in kenny rodgers which is like a superbig NONO. gotta watch my diet closely now.
hahas and we went esplanade rooftop(:(:
beautiful scenery totally.
love the people to bits.
really enjoyed talking to them(: felt like the old times again.
thankss yf(: you must also jiayou kayyss. believe in yourself and you'll shine x)
(lols okayys... i know that line is uber familiar. it became somewhat of a pet line already hahahas)

had K2 outing today at town(:
lolss spent ages eating and just talking at lido 5th level benches.
was quite interesting i guess(: hahahas and we took neos!
lalalaalas finally, memories captured on paper!
wheeeeeeeee (:

ermsss... feelin really realllly nervous now,
all that jitters and butterflies in me.
almost 24 hours to the competition.
i dont know why but it feels like d-day to me.
im worried about my balence... it gets worse each day:(
and i get so insecure and unconfident about myelf with every passing trg.
ohmansss i feel like crap. ughhhh .
i really shouldnt think so much now... shld focus on what i want and how am i going to achieve it.

i have only one shot and im gonna make it fly(:

YES I CAN AND I WILL GIVE MY VERY BEST!
WHACK, MAINTAIN, BALENCE! TWIST, PULL, KICK!

oh yeahhhh. i ought to meditate. it should calm my nerves.
breathe... girl... B R E A T H E
what doesn't break you,

makes you (stronger).

faith will keep me going .

lasting moments(:

2006-05-05T23:42:00.000+08:00

/edit PHOTObooth;

PON-TANG PW 4MAY06 ADVENTURE @BALCONY

woahsss BREAKDANCEE ! x)

in love w my bag totally (:

spastic elmo& bernie

sometimes i just want to be a l o n e .

4INSAINTX 4MAY06 @JEC. home sweet home(:(:

blessed with all the wonderful people in the world(:
i saw another rainbow in school today(:(:
things are finally /edit ~~looking up~~NOT,
f a i th. happin ess. lo v ed
:D:D:D

random thoughts

2006-05-01T22:26:00.000+08:00

there is perfection in our imperfections
when strengths developed from flaws.

nothin is pure. not even the heart
dont talk to me bout problems

gahhhss random stuff that struck me deeply.

stone. stoning. the simple joy in life

2006-05-01T20:31:00.000+08:00

whoopeee!(:
the funtasia food production team did our first round of food-tastin today!
hahaas was quite a short session but we did lots(:
rahhhhssss cooking is so fun.
06s22 will be selling pasta on 20th may! mus support okayys (:
give your taste buds a treat, people! :DDD 100% satisfaction guaranteed.

rocked town in the afternoon.

uber madness @Galilee & Friends !

hahas shy shy*

RAWRRRRRR FLASHER ALERT!

gahhhss. all time favourite(:

yays. we'll probably be rocking sg nightlife soon(:
im thrilled, totally(:

( grrrrrs. shucks :(

2006-04-30T12:33:00.000+08:00

this's gonna be a quick one... cos' im falling asleep already.
trgs arent going too smoothly for me. my performances 've been rather inconsistent lately.
gahhhhss. its pretty badd. sometimess i can feel so unfamiliar in my boat with awkward body coordination. got really upset for a few trgs this week.
grrrrrr... lousy trg days really bug me ALOT.
theres no time to lose. absolutely no time at all for me to screw one trg and then start all over again the next day.
i need to improve fast and perfect my strokes, kickinggg, mycatch EVERYTHING quickly!
im so gonnna take it away!

took k1 for like 90% of my trg days this week.
rahhhss managed to do mileage and rowed slightly faster on mon and thurs respectively.
those were the only OK trg days i guess, excludin k2 on sat.
the rest were HORRIBLE x_X
blehss i ought to slap myself.

anyways im growing pimples !
like WHAT THE TOOOT* :(
carn help wanting to squeeze all that big lumps of pus/orwhateveryoudeemedtobeinsideapimple
blahhhhssss BUT by doing so, i probably leave ugly scars on my already ugly face -.-
yuppss not exactly the wisest thing to do.
and im gaining weight!
ughhhhss ought to shed the extra pounds of fats.

soccer clinic on sat was fun(:
so many beckhams in the making!(:(: hahas those little boys can sure kick balls.
theres was this uber cool kid who can do slides or scissors/whatever they call it.
watching them doing the drills and enjoying themselves as though today was the best of their lives really makes me wanna be a kid again!(:
hahs and we had our own internal soccer match after the kids left.
LOLS I HAD A GREAT TIME(:

I WENT OUT WITH JO YESTERDAY!!
WOAHHH WHEEEEEE! love her to bits(:
thats like the only highlight of my week (other than the soccer clinic on sat):DDD
hahas oh goshh i missed that girl.
we had a fabulous time(:(:
all that 'ogling' at pretty boys(there at the back of our heads but NOT there), juicy gossips we shared and the great conversations in which we bare our souls.
hahs HAPPINESS totally(:
lalalas and we dinnered out @ breeks and coffeebean!(:
*lowers head in shame. rahhhss my sinful indulgance

lols i have a very flat nose=/

fatigue. DELETED

2006-04-23T18:16:00.000+08:00

feelin' nostalgic
there's loads of people im missing now.
gahhs im hoping that next week i'll see these people(:
thought we will all grow grey together.
thought nothing will change.
thought the people will stay.
thought you(s)'ll stop to wait.
but they/you never do.

watchingyourback.
livinginmydelusion.
~~noitsnothappeningagain/~~

im day- dreaming again.
it seems to be my favourite hobby nowadays =x
rahhhsss i really wanna spend my 17th birthday at night safari .
oh manns, i hope i can find the time.

my headache is killing me.
its so annoyingg . thought i could catch some sleep and forget all bout the pain.
apparently, i guessed wrong.
ughhhss its not going away and im feeeling very grumpyyy now

rahhhs! i bite.
i need a breather.

p.s! hahs here's something cheery to brighten up my day(:
i saw a RAINBOW on thurs! ^_^
cool, uhh(:
its my first rainbow in my 16 years of life.
and the best part is i saw it at macr while i was CANOEING(:

j1 lunch &dinner yest was cool.
aristal on fri night was magical.
shall blog about it after i get the photos(:

we shall draw strength from each other.
have faith.
thanks for believing in me(:
each time i feel i'll snap any moment,
i'll remember you behind me
and the faith we both hold on to.
i'll pull harder with every stroke
for you... for me... for us(:

'cos i know the pain makes me stronger.

melancholy

2006-04-23T00:34:00.000+08:00

mel·an·chol·y
1. Sadness or depression of the spirits; gloom:
2. Pensive reflection or contemplation.

you can feel lonely even when you are surrounded by people.

gahhhs. read this from jialin's blog.
blehhhss qianzhi is making me THINK. rahhhhs! and all the random weird negative thoughts are running thru my head again! lolss qianzhi is always confusing me with all her philosophies (unfortunately, they're always spot-on! :()

the inevitable drifts. will we go far, i wonder?
i have faith.
yet i hope it doesnt fail me along the way.

heys ms blur! believe in your friendships kayys(:

RAWRRRRR! this is so strange.
i was so happpyy a moment ago.
now i feel like... CRAP
trgs are draining me mentally and physically x_X
gahhhhhhss, push on girl!

shall blog bout my week tml. i need my rest
TATA!

ANNOYED

2006-04-19T00:10:00.000+08:00

ughhhs! pw is such a chore .
its 12.10pm and i spent 2+++ friggin hours reading up and editing that damn PI.
and guess what. my PI exceeded by 200+... Vclose to 300 words.
oh great, i used another 30 mins struggling to delete MY PREVIOUS PAINSTAKING EFFORTS.
this is fun. i love PI. i love PW so much that it pains me to even look at the word: TRANSPORT.

Momentum- Evaluation of Singapore’s transport policies in creating a more accessible, inclusive and user-friendly public transportation for the elderly
oooohhh my MOSTLOVED topic. i feel like strangling myself already.

dear mrfuad:
please kindly accept my PI,
or i really do not know what deadly acts i may do.
yours truly, ms jasmine tan./

GRRRRRRRRRRR. im still left with 32 words to delete.
i forsaked my dearest chemical bonding tutorial for one miserable 500-word report.
goodbye PI. you can jolly well burn in hell and i dont care anymore.
i need my sleep x_X

hold on to FAITH

2006-04-16T21:34:00.000+08:00

everyday feels like a rollarcoaster.
so many different emotions stirring inside me each day.
somedays i bounce with joy, somedays i feel totally sour& disgusted with myself.
somedays i carn seem to bring myself to talk to the world.
somedays i tear. somedays i just wanna stone. somedays i rawr!
guess life has always been like that for me...
but this year, i experience feelings that are more intense and complicated.
i feel so lost=/

gahhhhhs. i feel as though im featured in some film , having to deal with zillions of EVIL/GOOD/WEIRD/NICE/PRETTY/UGLY characters.
and theres so many twists and turnss in the story that i never know who's true and who's not. i have to live life with a plastered smile, putting up false fronts and sometimes i'll get so numb that nothin else matters anymore. rahhhhs worse, the film just goes on and on... like peter pan in neverland (whatever its called); till one day i am so mentally drained that i'll drop=/ hahh the ultimate ending probably shows me lying dead on the road under cold hard stares, hahas and behind me sits the MCDONALDS restuarant(:
lols i know it sounds strange havin mac at the crime scene. hahahas but im craving for a milkshake now!
hahahas oh wells, my movie's definitely gonna be an award winning one(:

okayys im weird.
i lead my life as two totally different persons.
gahhhs one moment, i can be so cynical about life; the other, im sprouting rubbish& making my own day!
hahahas but its so fun having EXTREMEemotional variations! :DDD
okayys lahhss its not that great, exactly. but its jus nice to be ME(:
at least for now, i dont even bother to act lovely-dovely (gahhs did i spell it right? lols you get the meaning(:) with half of the acquaintances in my world.
having said that, i bet half of my world hates me lols
ooohhhhhh i suck! whatever.
im too lazy and tired to socialise in school. it uses up loads of energy and i certainly haven much to spare now. hahahas i'll try to be more active though.
used to make a boo-ha outta every trivial matter in the past, but i guess im too old for that now. lols i carn imagine the present jasmine bouncing everyday in school. my bones probably break and my heart may just stopped pumping blood. =p

hahas anyways i should get back to what im here for today(: which is UPDATE!
7TH-9TH APRIL
DANGA BAY! hmmms, gonna blog about it after i get the photos(:
im too lazy to go into details for now.

took apache for this week's trg.
gahhhhs its a scary boat.
felt really lousy on some days,
here are some random thoughts in my head during those stormy days:
i want it. AND I WANT IT REAL BAD. WTF IS WRONG WITH ME?
okayys, lousy is clearly an understatement. SCREWED seems to be a better word =S
but its over!. life is understood by lookin into the past, but lived by moving on.
got this somewhere. yuppss learn from gross errors and ~~pick up where you left off~~start afresh again(:
shake off the fear and have trust in your partner. stay cool and composed. DONT PANIC
"If you want what you've never had, you must do what you've never done."

but really... sometimes mistakes are simply intolerable. i have to get this right from the start.
the pain of trgs is temporary,
but the scar of losing is permanent.

THURS! was maddness.
felt this indescribable sadness and loss.
please focus on the 25%. we can overcome all odds as one.
please dont lose faith in us.
even if the world is against us, we have one another and together, we will pull through..
/hoping that all will turn out well=/

had a great talk with the girls(sze,dee,vic,shitface) at J8(:
gahhhss i love this team. lets have all the girls out for dinner next time(:

FRIDAY! was a very good good friday(:

SIMNA SAYS

"goodfriday was a happie day for me la :D enjoyed it LOADS. went kboxing at town with YIRONG SERENE &JASMINE. hahah had loads of fun singing &crapping at the same time(: sang FIRST DAY &we were like jumping around &on the sofa. hahahahah :D then we walked around cine &GUESS WHAT? WE MET LOTSA 4insaintx GIRLS(:(:(: so conincidental yeah. at first we met RIMMEL&CHIHUA, then we met PEIPEI , then we met NATHALIE YIFENG &GABY, and we met SHICHUN. hahhahaha &we took photos(: damn happie la! &we were saying having 4i outings soon(: cant wait! :D really miss the class LOADS. then yirong left for her steamboat &me jas ser when to shop for yirongNG's present. hhahaahah(: hope she likes them la :D ohya, the hotdogs outside cine (those push carts one) ARE damn NICE la (: if you add loads of mustard, it's HEAVENLY. =) hahah!"

my sentiments, exactly (:
hahahas BUT onions and prickles GO BETTER with hotdogs(:

<3 them truckloads

SATURDAY!
went jec for dinner with some of the canoeists after trg. hahahas gossip mongers rock my world!=PpPp lalalas digged out so many ~~secrets~~stuff, 70% of which caught me totally off-handed. lols nearly fall off my chair!
and the best part of the day was meetin up with my loved squadmates!
gahhhhhsss this must be fate! didnt thought we will see each other since i thought everything was cancelled. hahahas neos was FUNNY(:

i miss s304 badly.
i miss talking with you guys.
i miss making a fool outta ourselves in public places!
i miss laughing all day long with you people.
i miss all 35 of you.
goshhhh , i feel like crying already!

SUNDAY!
"mugging" at lib. hahahas spent half of our time at imm with FOOD!(:

rahhhs im so dead. im left with PI, maths sequence tutorial chemical bonding tutorial and econs! woahhs, why do my weekends always pass so quickly?

p.s. hahahas i colourcoded the paragraphs in my FAVOURITE COLOURS- RAINBOW!(: yupps its for easy readin anyways(:

and he walked out of the door

2006-04-04T23:00:00.000+08:00

rahhhhhhs!
cherish. 我最想珍惜的人
- yin's msn nick

hahahasss CHERISH ME, ppl!
lols im cool... lovable... miss-able... andCUTE!(:
kayys kiddin=p
and please dont tell me im have none of the qualities listed above....=S
let me live in my own world for once!

blahhhss im bored=/

impossible is nothing./

2006-04-02T22:14:00.000+08:00

i dont want to be a wimp anymore.
its really time to put an end to all the stupid excuses and nonsense
no doubt there are physical limits to every individual,
but i must never set boundaries for myself.
mental barriers will only stop me from reaching my goals
and going beyond my physical limit.
fear is a lousy excuse. it simply shows my obvious lack of mental strength.
i have to and will beat myself and conquer this damn freaking fear.
im sick and tired of feeling so inconfident... so not-in-control. i dont want to be scared anymore. i want to show the same confidence i have in k2 in k1.
i want to be a fighter and not some irritating loser who carn row properly and freaks out everytime she tries to make her first stroke, just cos she succumbed to her own fear. damn:(

grrrr im angry at myself.
where did all that courage go to?
my legs go jelly and knees wobbly everytime i stepped into the boat.
i just keep thinking that my boat is rocking even at times when the boat is totally still.
i tap every now and then for assurance and its so stupid
darn, i ought to be shot.
i gonna stop being such an idiot and row properly.
wake up your ideas, girl!
actions speak louder than words. dont give any more bullshit.

i promise i wont let you down.

going wayDOWN.

2006-03-30T23:32:00.000+08:00

29MARCH06
utter disappointment.
im so disgusted with myself =/
carn focus . carn balence . carn think .
what the hell was i doing down there

dont live in the shadows of the past.
MOVE ON and FORWARD!
everyday's a fresh start.
hahas asian pacific breweries have great tarvans(: i love the place totally!
went jj to watch soccer after the archaeology talk.
nj lost 1-0 to jj :(
as long as the last whistle doesnt blow, play on... dont lose faith. play for the team(:
you guys can do it(:

nothing fits into place.
life isnt going too smoothly.
i dont feel too close to you, him, her, them, everybody
haven been laffing much recently. i miss the old times, badly.
im not even looking forward to the games anymore.
im not happy at all.

BESTIES DAY!

2006-03-28T13:38:00.000+08:00

besties yesterday, today, tomorrow.
no, make that forever(:

ohh yay! we managed to squeeze out time &hangout yesterday!(:
it feelss good totally. hahas as usual, we had a hard time deciding on a place to eat.
lols and we almost went up the wrong escalator! (tsk only yin will know *winks)
lalallass though our outin lasted for a SHORTafternoon, i had a great time(:
im so in love with my bestestPIG!=PpPp

hahahas tsktskz where on earth is yanzhi?!
oh goshh, i miss you too!:(

anyways im back from the western etiquette course held at shatec... which is like right infront of my block lols(: in literal terms, a stone's throw away!
the food was lip-smacking... yummyss.
hahas kinda reminded me of our prom's menu.
ahhhhh, its 2 hours more till the start of trg. im gonna catch up on my sleep... probably taking a quick 1hour nap or somethin.
goodnight!(:

HAPPYDAYWITHGREATCOMPANY

2006-03-26T21:50:00.000+08:00

lalalalas. crazy friends. perfect company :DDD

the passion; the grit; and a whole lot of heart

2006-03-25T23:30:00.000+08:00

blahhsss this is a veryLATE post.
18-19 MARCH06
MR-500

team·work n.
-Cooperative effort by the members of a group or team to achieve a common goal.

teamwork isnt about individuals relying on a strong team, but a group of people ~~wanting~~DYING to contribute their utmost to the team.
and in a dragonboat, the aim is to pull harder than anyone else in the boat.
that makes a fighter boat, a formidable force.

we gave our all.
with no prior experience or DBtrgs,
all we had was the passion and desire.
we may not have won every single race but all of us put up a good fight.
we rowed with our hearts,
for the people in the boat
and for the team.

"the passion; the grit; and a whole lot of heart"
-hui jun
and for that simple reason, i say we are all champions at heart(:
njcanoeing. i love this team(:

t2 race was a nightmare.
the direction was horrible.
all i remember was whacking madly in the water
couldnt feel my arms during the race.
500m never seemed so long before.
my heart sank when she replied you didnt pull AT ALL.
was on the verge of tears upon hearing that.
suddenly, i just feel so lousy and useless.
we got in the finals though but were trashed the next day.
i didnt utter a single word when we made our way back.
deep inside, there was this frustration and emptiness and i hate myself for being so incompetant.
all this time, everything around me seemed smothering/suffocating, as though a black hole was closing on me.
i needed a good cry badly, to let all that tears flow.
thanks those who were there with me(:
im ready to take on all bullshit that come my way(: bring it on.

we got 1st for women's tertiary. well done team(:
and for the women's open, we lost to nus and came in 2nd.
oh wells, it was such an uber close race.

thurs: met up with jo&jz.
hahahas im so in love with the girls.
gahhh they joined ac canoe.
it feels so weird seein them in another school, racing for another team.
sighhs. sometimes life can be so unfair.

sat: stj!
woshhh. s19 rockk da house again,
this time at hsiu tze hse(:
oh yeahh baby. we are cool.

its 0100
ooohhhh im sleepyy already
tata people! rest well(:

be strong, be you... BREATHE

2006-03-17T22:40:00.000+08:00

quick weekly update !
mon: went back rv for candlelight night(:
i love my squad.
"no more rvnp personnal" --> BULLSHIT.
we spent 4years slogging in that damn cca, and all that we get in return is this crapp.
if not for the people, i would have quit the cca long ago.
s304. im glad that it happened though things arent much the same anymore.
my lifesupport always (:

BAD NEWS!
ohgosh! the whole s19 is displaced from 19!
this is real bad. suddenly, all of us are in different classes.
im in s22. although the people there are great and friendly, the feeling's still weird.
im gonna miss our class bench :(
on a brighter note, since the whole class is displaced, we dont have to worry bout having new people in s19 and them joinin our class outings (:
so we are still PAE S19! wheeees! :D
oh anyway, HELLO WINNI, MY NEW CLASSMATE!

tue: canoe camp(:
took k2 with mryong. woahhs, did sprints.
i suck pretty much at direction .
ball games were hell. glad that we made it through(:
met up with 2d after camp and we went WCP!
lolss i still carn believe we went there just to climb pyramids and play the playgrds!
and guess the venue for our next outing. BUKIT TIMAH HILL!
geeezz, we've really ran out of venues.

wed: canoe trg & j1&ips outing!
it was fun(:(:
victoria's secret isnt so secret anymore . hushh hushs =PpPp
lalas hope there are more outings to come (:

thurs: last day of canoe camp :(
took k2 with huiyin(a super senior). she's so cool. taught me lotsa new stuff(: we did sprints again and this time round, i could really feel the resistance (:
not that i couldnt in the past, but on thurs i felt myself pulling harder than before (2 previous trgs). guess im making improvements as time passed (:(:
all the way girl! give your very best every single trg! be a fighter (:
hahas the camp was a great experience &im glad i survived it :D

The key to success is 100% heart & 100% brain.
Underdogs can win if they hold on to their dreams and success will come their ways if they believe in it.
Play as a team and play unselfishly

fri AKA TODAY:
i woke up feeling all sore& aching.
lols pain is good (: it makes me stronger!
WOSHH winners dont quit. quitters dont win. (quoted paul's msn)
s19 rocked ECP!
hahass i loveee everybody! lookin forward to 19th!
oh mann. can i not change class?

MR-500 tml (:
im so excited. its gonna be my first dragonboat races.
lols and my first time being the drummer for a race.
oh goshh. im so clueless to what i should do.
GO NJ! we can do this together! (:(:

"Take one day at a time... live, love & laugh... be strong, be you... BREATHE."
- extreme makeover: home edition.

capture the moments.

2006-03-16T23:54:00.000+08:00

snap away! snap those memories! capture the prettysmiles!
'm a camwhore, so sue me.
always in my heart(:

s304 (:lifesupport RV13MARCH06

j1canoeists TOWN15MARCH06 (:

destiny. my <3 WESTCOAST14MARCH06

pokey cake! (: happy 18th liyana!

so SCANDALOUS =PpPp happy 17th mark & qianzhi!

06s19 . 3mths .OURSTORY(:

'm sticking to youFOREVER, best friend! :D

NJC IS <3. thankyou

when i think of what i have and this chance i nearly lost

2006-03-13T09:01:00.000+08:00

i miss jo& qianzhi.
rahhhhhs. the school is so mean! >.<
jo:
i have so much to tell you and i have absolutely no idea where to start.
oh goshh, 3mths felt like magic.
og27 came so naturally.
hahas how we became so VERYGOOD friends, i haven a single clue.
it was simply perfectCHEMISTRY i guess (:(:
i miss seeing you everyday with your goofy smile.
i miss hearing you gabbling on and on bout sophie.
i miss gossiping and giggling with you.
i miss seeing you blush like some bashful schgirl.
i miss hanging out with you.
i miss all our heartx talks that could stretch all day and night.

AHHHHHHH. I MISS YOU :(

come back/meet up often kayys and promise me you'll be just as happy in ac(:

qianzhi:
lols never tot i found someone so similiar as me, experiencing so many contradicting and scary emotions day and night.
only knew you this year though we were in the same sch. didnt even talk in the past and poof! we are like two peas in a pod now. ironic huh..
haH its amazing how 2 absolute strangers can turn into such great friends in the hands of fate.
i like talking with you, particularly those longg heartx talks.
you never fail to make my day with your "metal" smiles and sense of humor (:(:
i miss listening to your stories and all the fun-filled facts at the back of your head.
lols i miss stopping you from eatin chicken rice.
canoe was so uber fun with you . we were the duo newbies always together hand in hand (:
we had so much fun. we got lost going to ac. we laff at ourselves. we laff at people. weYOU ogled at pretty girls. hahas i wanna go your house bake cookies!
i want you back!

sigh. i feel as though i lost twolimbs.
im CRIPPLED, totally.

legs&paddles

2006-03-13T08:09:00.000+08:00

413A my tag:D

legs&paddles tee was cool (:
tot i didnt do my very best for the running part =/
could really feel the adrenaline rushing thru me... but ermmm... pacing was important (:
sj was in so much pain that i didnt think i should just left her behind.
pain is inevitable and im glad that we made it thru as a team (:
yeah girl, you did a great job in overcomin ur pain! (:(:
oh well, there's always another time i guess.

but i somewhat regretted my move.
cos corrine&i were bad in the canoe part.
we ought to have a headstart by finishing the run earlier so the two of us wouldnt lagg so much later =S
but still, gahhhhh! NVM its OVER.
oh , corrine ran the wrong route to suntec LOLS. she's so blur.
its okayy dear... dont be too upset kayys. we learn from our mistakes (:(:

hahas canoe was veryBAD. lols we had BIGproblems with our directions.
our boat was like goin zig-zag all the time and we had to telemark cos apparently our TUGleft&right doesnt seem to be working fine =S
goshh i felt as though my left arm's gonna break off any minute on the boat.
whacked like madd but we were still goin nowhere.. uggghhhhhhhh
gonna train up on my arm power.. so weak =/ and my left arm is crapp
ohman, i feel LOUSY

met up with the DBtrials people at marina sq (:
yupps heard that they did well :DD
lalalas im so in love with njcanoeing!
everybody's so funny. we can just laff our arses off all day!
and its confirmed that the team is going Danga Bay International Games from 6th-8th April in Malaysia! (:(:
WHOOOOOPPY WHEEEEE!
hahas im so looking forward to it.

Pain and giving up is all in the mind. Endure it and you will achieve things you never knew you could.
"We must all suffer one of two things: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret or disappointment."
Jim Rohn

heart& soul.

go the distance

njcanoe.

pms

2006-03-11T11:33:00.000+08:00

i think i woke up on the wrong side of the bed.
gahhhh. i feel so lost.
my life is so boring!
damn.

last day of term1 with s19 (:

2006-03-10T23:26:00.000+08:00

(:(:(:
had so much fun with s19.
school ended early today.
we went serene centre's mac for lunch.
listen to lynova!
clap clap clap
2 times!
clap clap clap clap
3 times!
clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap
listen to the music!
-continues (:

hahas imsoinlovewiththebimbocheer!
"ohmygawd! i think i need a manicure!
the sun i swear is bleaching up my golden hair
red blue yellow green, what's the colour of my team?
i dont know . i dont care
i jus wanna do my hair! ^_^"

we were soHIGH. soHAPPYlaffin'ourarsesoff
how i wish it wouldnt end =/

we went ps for movie. watched date movie!
lols crappy show with no plot at all.
juss laff at the dirty jokes.
took neos and guess what,
they're (oneof)the prettiest and funniest neos i took in so many years(:

absolutely picturePERFECT *
note: oh yeah, i wrote grey for the first time today...
quotes zhikai " from a nurse to a factory worker" -.- ohWHATEVER!

LIFEHOUSE- YOU&ME

2006-03-05T10:53:00.000+08:00

LIFEHOUSE- YOU&ME
What day is it? And in what month?
This clock never seemed so alive
I can't keep up and I can't back down
I've been losing so much time

Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do
Nothing to lose
And it's you and me and all of the people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you

All of the things that I want to say just aren't coming out right
I'm tripping on words
You've got my head spinning
I don't know where to go from here

Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do
Nothing to prove
And it's you and me and all of the people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you

There's something about you now
I can't quite figure out
Everything she does is beautiful
Everything she does is right

Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do
Nothing to lose
And it's you and me and all of the people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you
and me and all of the people with nothing to do
Nothing to prove
And it's you and me and all of the people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you

What day is it?
And in what month?
This clock never seemed so alive

heart& soul. s19

2006-03-05T00:57:00.000+08:00

HELLO EVERYBODY!
hahas im here again!
yupps didnt manage to upload any photos cos my comp is so super dee screwed.
blehsss oh whatever!
yupps myhappy3mths has officially ended on 3march06.
everybody's leaving nj *sighh
all my bestest friends in school are GOING AWAY!
ughhhh. like what the TOOOOOTTT
it was such a sad day yest
and today was just another flopp.
2 days full of tears and heartache
only half of s19 is stayin,
joanne's posted to ac
___ is in such a mess now.
ohmann i'll miss so many people :(

had class dinner tday .
im so overwhelmed with emotions now.
all i can say is iLOVEs19!
remember our dates kayys ppl (:(:
our monthly 19th outings!
partings are such sweet sorrow.

kinda in a state of confusion now.
im afraid im losin' it
so much bitching, so much anger
im freaked out, like totally.
so afraid that i carn catch up in time.

~~thankgodyastaying~~

stick together. staySTRONG (:

canoe trgs are fun

2006-02-25T23:36:00.000+08:00

:D

ilovelife.

my com can be quite irritating sometimes.
the internet is DOWN again -.-
and i carn post the photos on my blog.
UGHHHHH. hahahas whatever.
life is still fun (:

my arms and thighs have two distinct colours
lols trgs rockk(:
im so loving it.

inotstupidtoo

2006-02-19T00:12:00.000+08:00

watched inotstupidtoo.
thought it was the best singapore film i watched so far
totally surpassed the first movie (:

yeahhs says' HELLOvirtues and BYEflaws!
dried. flow. stop
. not everybody have a gift in them
some people are just born UNtalented
good plot .but does not apply to everybody
gahhhhh. my com is so frigginnnn LAGGGGGGGGGGGGY
GRRRRRRRRR. ROAR!whatever.
reformat the damn com please.

my weekS were crap, funny, happy (*insert your random adjective)
im too lazy to blog bout what happened.
shall upload the photos and let them do the talking
oh yupps, i guess im stayin on in njc.
whatever i do, leave no regrets .

blahsss im so random.
one more thing, joshua ang is cute (:

all smiles camwhore!

2006-02-17T23:58:00.000+08:00

lalalalaS im too lazy to blog.
let the photos do the talking! (:(:

the bestest friends one can have ^_^

goodbye anthony :(

insane saints with our fav pose!

og27 rocks my socks!

damn

2006-02-13T00:34:00.000+08:00

its 12.35 am
and i feel like puking.
ohman

CNY blues and s19 BBQ!

2006-02-05T23:25:00.000+08:00

i took away my tagboard.
somehow suddenly i dont like the idea of people~~friends who arent that close to me~~ readin my blog.
yeahh i've been rather screwed lately.
grrrrrr. whatever . i bite =/
so i decided that i dont want to hear/know bout how people feel about my entries ,
not that i gave too much a damn in the past (except those whom i reallyy love)
conclusion: whoever you are, if you dont like what you're reading, just click that damn cross on your friggin browser.
i dont need readers anyway .

i've been feelin so mean and sour lately.
and goshh, i was nice okayy.
at least i didnt take my frustrations out on people so OPENLY.
've ONLY been screwin this blog, which is like... my ONLY outlet in my life.
pathetic crapp.

last/this week was pretty cool.
last fri i went back to my dearest mother school (:
crapped lots with my fav people. headed to je for lunch, then town for neoprints .
LALALAs a great start to the lunar new year (:
cny was dumb.
im not close to my relatives so yuppss,
was rotting throughout the whole holidays. rahh!

tue. 4I went to mrslook hse to bai nian (:
went to clark quay after that.
we walked from there to boat quay then to esplanade before finally settling down at citylink :DDD
hahahas we spent our whole evening just walking and talking and enjoying singapore's beautiful city landscape.
missed fourI loadss <333
it feeels so good simply lagging ard with your fav friends (:(:
we dined at nooch's noodle bar yummyys ^_^
and went gelare for deserts hahas
lalas talked bout our past*ahemm (insert your random thought)
i love you people! (:(:

wed. ran 4-5 rounds of track for fun. played bball .
lols our senior was back from the army and we played BRIDGE yet AGAIN! =/
hahahas we shld set up a clubb for regular sessions man

thurs. mum's bdae (:
i love my dearest mummy!
hockey training was quite fun (:

fri. 06s19's 1st CLASS BBQ!
hohoho beginnin to love the class already .
ate crapped watchedthemplaycards photos lightupcandles sangbdaesongs . . .
lalalas s19 rockss (:
let's have more class outings!

sat. 4I went mrslee & mrs tan hse to bai-nian

sun. anthony's farewell lunch.
lols i did not go for the lunch. met them at a later time.
hahaa neoprints and nydc!
mudpiess are delicious andd . . . expensive =/
the baked pasta is SUPERtasty. aMUST-TRY for all food fanatics (:

its 6th feb 0000 .
happy birthday girlfriend!

we all love that winnie the pooh :DDDD
you are seventeen already.
one more year to porn/m18! WAHAHAHA
have fun :DD

i love being sick WHEEEEE!

2006-01-26T23:48:00.000+08:00

grrrrrrr friendster is so screwed up x_X
i carn upload a photo without refreshing one zillion times
even blogger is pissin me off by being so laggy
ughhh what the toooooot*

anyways i was sick for the past 2 days (:
lols it rockks totallyy being sick.
watched 3 episodes of my fav e zuo ju zhi wen after like 29038290842372784 years?!
yeppsss sweeet show . the show's ending soon SIGHHHHH
zheng yuan chang is so cute (:

lalalass i really have no idea why im here when im supposed to be sleepin.
i should rest well, reallyy.
hahs im just so exciteddd for tml !
geezz dont ask me why.
maybe cos im back to school tml and yeahh, i know.. thats such a dumb reason.
i miss nj's roti prata and pillows
lols i'll be seein lotsa fav ppl tml (:(:
school ends early and we are goin back to rv!
WHEEEEEE! :DDDDDDD

yuppssss anyway, im gaining lots of calories lately.
been munchin on all the CNY goodies at home!
blehss FLOSS ROLLS especiallyy.
hahahass you know those crispy rolls with floss inside?
and when you bite them, you can hear the CRANK CRANK soundd cos they are SO crispy?
yupps they are like superr deliciouss lah.
yeahh i know... i shouldnt be eating all these junk food when im so sick.
whatever . there's no other food in my house already
its not my fault i carn find alternatives =PpPp
lols i feeel fat already

someone shoot me please.
i heard they are takin height and weight for nxt week pe
OH MY

lessons are *drools

2006-01-24T22:19:00.000+08:00

strange enough, im feelin kinda moody despite the movie
geisha was rather good . the ending was sweet (:
lessons started officially today.
the timetable is like x_X
i have so little free periodss blehss
yeahh i think i spaced out almost every lesson -.-
gp was like Zzzz goodniteyyy
lucky for us, the pw period was free since its only the 1st 3mths.
went to coronation/ prince's for lunch with og27.
then went for chem pract.
lolss peck yan said the teacher looks cute while i on the other hand feels as though he just stepped out from some sitcom
went the student lounge to lagggggggg

hahahahx yesterday was super funn lah.
laggedd /crapped in school till like 4-5+ before we met up with yl.
headed to serene centre for island creamery (:
the ice cream was DELICIOUS (:(:
did some homeworkk and we went to adam rd for dinner
lolss gossipped like madd lah (: and some confessionsss worr
hahahahaa my superr happy day s.

悲伤喜悦回忆不断重演
no past . no nothing .
no reminiscence .
then why are you still living in your shadowss

OAC camp /drunk and lafftillyoudie (:

2006-01-23T00:09:00.000+08:00

im back from oac camp!
and im like super sick :(
my muscles are sore and my throat hurts like hell x_X
yuppsss but the camp was still fun
my group was XYLONE! great bunch of people (:
played some ice breaker games at the beginning
then we had outdoor cooking.
O-U-T-D-O-O-R : makin use of REAL leaves and twigs to set up a fire -.-
lols then some of us talked till like 2am?
woke up at 4am and realised i left 2 graphic calculators at the oasis
BLEHS the calculators cost 169 bucks each Zzzz
what a nightmaree =/
luckily they werent stolen . what a close shave

had pt on sat (:
then it was orienteerin.
lols the game was super gross lahh.
had to pass a banana to one another to the 100m mark using our mouths (! we could not bite the bananas) yupps the bananas were super soggy and disgustingg at the end of the game =/
then we had to pass toothpaste back to the starting line using our nose Zzzz
LOLs realised nj ppl are kinda sadistic
we travelled from nj to adams rd to macritchie and finally to bukit timah hill which was the last stop
hahas super tiring and super fun (:(:
xylone came in 2nd ! :DDDD
yupps the camp ended with a 'cold' campfire. lols and we break camp at 10pm?

this week was super entertaining (:
get to know a senior who is ex-rv and ex-nj and super crappy
lols we had this bridge maddnessss lah .
played 3/4 hours of bridge and other card games on tuesday =/
hahah it was crazyy . too bad we wont be seein him soon cos he booked in yest.
hahahaha SHAN, SO I GUESS ITS OVER? =PpPp

i carn go to the maldives cip =(
my parents are super against it, saying that its so dangerous and stuff
yuppps im quite disappointed
haiz maldives is like voted one of the world's best beaches lahh and its always featured on the national geographic .
oh wells.

yuppss had 2d outin today.
lols we lagged and lagged and lagged
took neos and ate pasta for dinner (:
nothing much actually but i just kept laffin
shuzhen said i looked drunk =/
lols i was very dizzy as though my head was spinninnn like madddd
lalalas i think we are meetin up soon to go to lee lao shi house for CNY (:
im so thrilled (:

HEY YOU! best friends till the very end (:(:(:

GLORY GLORY GLORY NJ!

2006-01-15T18:14:00.000+08:00

[edited]:
i read your blog. yupps im angry not cos you went out with your class last night.
but because you dont bother to hang out with us anymore. maybe im oversensitive but yupps we dont even talk as much as before. we dont see each other though we are in the same school. its as though you forget bout us already and thats so hurting. im angry cos im afraid i'll lose you, thats all :(

oh yeahh babyy, 27 is HOTHOTHOT!
the whole nj was shakin their bonbons and groovin it at the dance party fri night :DDDD
yuppsss it was superHIGH!
everywhere you turned, you can see happy people dancin; some were on tabletops (:(:
it feels as though we were clubbin lolss
thought the dance party was a fabulous end to this whole 12day orientation
staliA estrellas is soOVER :(

ermmm let me seee
on wed we had WAR GAME I (:(:
all the houses formed an alliance against antaios and lynova .
poured water on whoever i see. lolx too bad i didnt get a chance to use the waterbombs
hahss got myself super wet and muddy
and i smelled like cow dung after everythin x_X
the aftermath of all that devastation:
lols the field supposedly green looked as though one million cows shited on it.
hahahas the damage was pretty bad .
cca open house was liddat lahh.
nothin muchh. just sightseein lolx
many rvians from ac crashed nj (:
played bball with the usual peeps and np ppl after school.
lols missed them soooo much mannn :DDDD
joined og27 at kap to celebrate kelvin's 18th birthday (:
hahahahs and again, we had super funny daress .
sam had to share fries with the antaios house captain =PpPp
LALALALALALA superFUN!

thurs . we had station games
lols average lahh . all i can remember was spinnin ard poles for 20 times
WTH i kept falling down and my butt hurts like hell lolx
was super dizzy the whole time >.<
went kap with og27 again lols
this time ard, we played this dumb game that goes ti-titi-ti-ti TI-TI .
then we had to tap on each others' fingers. lols super cute sia
laffed till my stomach hurts ^_^

fri.
WAR GAME II
it was us againts the OGLs
mwahahahahas
i was at the frontline! wheeeeeee! (:(:
super fun man. kept throwing water bombs at them
yuppss was hit a couple of timesss OUCHHHHH!
lalalasss WET WET WET!
my class ordered pizza for dinner /dance party (:
06s19 is kinda quiet bahx
dont exactly hate the class but yuppsss abit too dull for my liking.
lols hope things improve (:
og27 is reallyyyy super duperrr funn .
lolss you guys really rocked my lifee like TOTALLY.
was intent on leavin nj after3mths initially
\BUT yuppsss you guys made so much a difference i decided not to :DDDD
hahs if i can stay, i probably just change my combi and if im lucky enough, i'll be in the same class as one of you guys (:
lolss and yuppsss og27 , u guys danced WELL! (:
sooo sexyyy and sooooo coolll
27 WHOOOOOSH!

sat. kayaking course with og27! (:
hahahas it was interestin and i had fun
paired with xingqun for T2 (:
think we did a great job though we were abit slow. hehehe
i must be a lousy partner =p
yuppss think im considerin canoe as cca.
(: managed to row a k1 by myself (:
hohohos that really rockss man
i must be real luckyy that day (:
will be going for the training on mon and yuppss see how things go bah

rv 50th anniversary was ermmmm lols RV.
the performances were... yupps dance was GREAT (:(:
hahaha why didnt i join dance when i was in sec1?
LOL MAYBE I AM A NATURAL YOU KNOW...
kayyy kiddinn =p
it feels good to see all the rv peeps again (:
went clementi mac to eat supper.

thats all folkss. till then :DDD
GLORY GLORY GLORY NJ!

stan karla joanne me (:

06s19!

us during station games

I LOVE OG27! ^_^

we are H O T!

forever is a lie

2006-01-10T22:24:00.000+08:00

its strange how sometimes people change,
how they drift away from you,
as though overnight they don't seem to know you anymore.

and one day you'll wake up and find yourself back to square one,
having to start from scratch all over again.
memories don't stay. they just fade away with time.
i used to think that all the good things in my life , be it people or whatever, will last forever;
since its pretty dumb not to want to maintain the happiness that comes with it.
. . . then i realised forever is an overstatement.
there's no truth in it .

love comes to an end eventually. even best friends don't keep in touch forever . needless to say, happy memories .
the only people that stand by you rain or shine is your family, i guess.

perhaps im being bitter bout life.
but today im feeling unusually reflective

4I's failed sentosa outing

2006-01-10T22:06:00.000+08:00

You Are 40% Boyish and 60% Girlish

You are pretty evenly split down the middle - a total eunuch.
Okay, kidding about the eunuch part. But you do get along with both sexes.
You reject traditional gender roles. However, you don't actively fight them.
You're just you. You don't try to be what people expect you to be.

How Boyish or Girlish Are You?

so now im gay -.-
lols perhapss im really better off being gay
so i wont be in such a mess now Zzz

life is good.
i love life
she loves me
og outings were as usual superb.
class was a little dull Zzzz
im considerin changing my combi if such crap continues on -.-
really missin og27 :(
on a brighter note, we are havin a secret meetin tml!
and another secret breakfast on thurs!
HUSHH HUSHHHHH! its really secret kayy (:(:
yupps and we are goin kayakin this sat and also celebratin pravin's 17th birthday!
LALALALAA
kap yest was super funn .
had an emergency getaway cos rumours of sharon phua comin were spreadin like wildfire x_X
lols escaped to bukit timah hawker centre and crapped like madd again (:

TODAY! JAN10
4I's supposed sentosa outin was a failure lolss.
the weather was super badd and it kept rainin x_X
yupps we camped at rimmel's old house in the end
lols played alot of dumb gamess . laff till pengzz (:

life is be-au-ti-ful :DDD

OG27 rockkin it (:

2006-01-07T21:30:00.000+08:00

LALALALA im lovin' OG27 :DDD
the week went rather smoothly (:(:
i chose my combination on thursday .
maths chemistry economics geography
BUT i doubt i got it anyway.
celine (OG27) chose the same but we're 7 classes apart >.<
yupps im posted to 06s24
anyone in the same class as me?
ughhh. next week we'll be hangin out with our new class
im so not looking forward to it.
why is it always in life we have to bid farewells when we're havin such a great time together?
BLEHSS og27 is such an amazin group
had loads of fun with them (:

we played games (qian bian riddles, double wacko, truth&dare etc) almost every break . had crazy forfeits for people . laughed at every dumb joke together . had our first (thurs) OG outing at TOWN! (:(: . know each other's secrets =PpPp . dared og mates to ask the old chang kee auntie for mee pok, ta & chaw chay teow, mai hum . laggg and chat till taka closed . had our second og outing- lunch at curry wok . played truth& dare at coronation plaza . yisong proposed to a dustbin . i called pizzahut and asked for mcdelivery's no.
and the list goess on :DDDDD

OG27 rockkin it (:

lovely gifts from our OGLs (: thanksss!

mass dance was sweet (:
there are three songs: upside down, carwash and grease.
and im already strugglin at the first.
i am such a KUKU Zzzz
i carn dance without even looking the least dumbb loll
hahs i think i'll do better singing the songs xP

lols my love for nj is growing .
its better than expected
and it certainly isn't that mugger school i thought it will be .
so yupps NJ YAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! (:(:(:

well... at least till now
i have almost nothin against the school.
maybe a little for the heavy school load that is to come in the near future
but definitely nothin about its people .
the company's great (:
im happy (:(:

but yupps
im kinda worried that i carn fit in as well in my new class x_X

nj OG27

2006-01-03T22:23:00.000+08:00

yepps its the first day of school!
WHEEEEEEE! -.-
stalia estrellas .
thats the theme for nj orientation 2006 :DDD
okayy the day was pretty average
lots of talks and v little games .
blehsss LOL 132 rvians went into nj o_O
my group itself has 6 rvians already Zzz
yupp my OGLs are super enthu and funny (:(:
hahahas the games were fun
BUT still, 1 full week of subject talks is HELL x_X

heard ac's orientation was super funn >.<
felt a tinge of regret actually
but whatever, i made my choice and i love the people who went nj with me :DD

BLEHSS i hope the week pass quickly (:

NJ YAHHH!
we do our best we always will
to serve to strive and not to yield
NJC all the way, all the way NJC!
(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:

终极一班 - 给我你的爱 (:

等待一點一滴你對我感到安心
感覺朋友關係有了新的默契

便利商店裡誰也買不到
我們最想要的東西只握在喜歡的人手上

給我你的愛讓我陪著你去未來
給我你的愛手拉著手不放開
就算宇宙爆炸海水都蒸發
只願你的記憶裡有我的擁抱

我的最大幸福是發現了我愛你
靈魂有了意義用每一天珍惜

便利商店裡誰也買不到
我們最想要的東西只握在喜歡的人手上

給我你的愛讓我陪著你去未來
給我你的愛手拉著手不放開
就算宇宙爆炸海水都蒸發
只願你的記憶裡有我的擁抱

雨和天空也有相愛的可能
望著你的微笑情不自禁

給我你的愛讓我陪著你去未來
給我你的愛手拉著手不放開
就算地球毀滅來不及流淚
只願你的記憶裡有我的擁抱

i<3myDESTINY(:

2006-01-02T05:31:00.000+08:00

destiny's 4D3N 27-30 Dec 2005 havoc camp :DDD
chalet was a BLAST.
note: blast : A highly exciting or pleasurable experience or event, such as a big party.
despite being 4D3N, it was really fun (:(:

DAY 01:
played tennis and ate jacks with yf jm yl nat and yuxi in the afternoon before headin town to get bbq stuff frm li. then went on to meet the others at the chalet.
LA . bbq was on the 2nd day -.- lol. played both wink and squeeze murderer. HAHAHAHAHX ultra dee duper FUN. we were super NOISY till some dumbo complained us loll.

DAY 02:
we went SENTOSA! (:
hooho built our very own submarine sandcastle with destiny written right below it.
played volleyball and touchrugby :DDD
LOL my stamina suckked to the core. panted like madd during the whole game Zzz
we then walked from palawan beach to siloso beach.
, where we played captain's ball! (:(: HOHOHOOHO

came back to chalet for BBQ. lol we had a HUGE turkey in addition to our hotdogss and otahs and blahsss.
yummyyyyyy (:(: i foresee 2d has a couple of potential chefs in the making :D
crapped like madd with the guys near the pit. mr hao mao aka the fat TENSHI who carn fly but resembles wu yan zu according to chan yanzhi is KINGKONG! mr li2 is T-REX! mr da jian ming is LAO A-PEK! and i am the NPCC - MATA! LOL

night/! HAPPY HOUR (:
solely card gamesss .
LANJIAO CHEEBYE DAI DE .
loll super cool , super funny , super HIGH game
that leaves you begging to be the final CHEE BYE =PpPp
hahaha i managed to get happy familyy -- king, queen, commoner, lanjiao, cheebye
played a whole 4 hours from 2 to 7am
WOAHHHH ! this is even better than ****ing j/k =p

DAY 03:
*dongsss
its time for SHI ZI LU ZOU!
鸡蛋----------------〉杯杯面
hahaha we are so rockin' it (:
blehss my group was last though. LOL
yl, yj , yx and me !
its okayyy we are still the BEST ... in my heartx LOL

night01/ pool
watched the others played pool.
yupp quite interestinn bah
loll the best part was the soccer (table game?) (:
LALALALALA it was my first time playin .
i was in the red team and played the defender position .
hahas think i did a pretty good job (:
lols but i think we lost 5-4? or was it 4-3?
yupp it wass fun

night02/ red house *scaryss
10 ppl went. we walked in pairs
almost everybody heard or saw somethin
we went into the place by crawlin into a hole at the back of the house
hahass jm and hao mao saw and heard stuff o_O
they saw the most stuff bah since they were at the front leadin us .
while km and yl heard footsteps,
mark and phyllis felt the presence of it
loll i was one of the lucky few (stella, alan and yj) who managed to walk out of the house without any bad experience.
i was the most humji among the 10 =p
blehss hao mao wanna challenge the sentosa mansion and old changi hospital for the next few chalets
Zzzzz loll i think i gonna stay at home man

DAY 04: CHECK OUT! (:

hahahas really enjoyed my time with you guys :DDD
2years later, yet still the same o' crappy and guailan bunch of people i know 2years before
i<3myDESTINY(:

hello 06!

2006-01-02T05:06:00.000+08:00

afraid .
lose .
no .

im gonna stick to my resolutions this time rd .
goodbye 2005.
here i come 06! :DDD

yepps will be bloggin bout the last week of my dec holidays since its so HAPPY (:(: